This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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