everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
