you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
