hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think my moral compass just broke
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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