My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
