I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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