This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
