So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
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FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.