While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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