I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
