the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my vagina anymore.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If its not for food we ain't going out.
FUCK WHALES
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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