Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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