were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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