I love black thongs
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
