Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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