you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
