Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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