adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
