I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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