in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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