$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
