She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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