the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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