no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
