I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
