i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
