Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
