My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
