I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
