we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
