Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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