Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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