why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
