So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
