I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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