All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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