so explain again why im purple
no
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
