Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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