I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
3pm strippers are depressing
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
