it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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