Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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