Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
