are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
