when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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