a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
