I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
