Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
