I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
