I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
