you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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