maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
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She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
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Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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