the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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