4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
