He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
