somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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