weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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