Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Small penises have feelings too.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
