Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Randomize
