How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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