I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
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I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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