i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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