I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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